Romance scams are now the most financially devastating form of consumer fraud in the United States. The FBI reported $1.3 billion in losses in 2024, up from $735 million in 2022. And those are just the reported cases — experts estimate the true figure is 3-5x higher because many victims are too embarrassed to report.
But dating app scams aren't just about money. In Latin America, they're connected to physical crimes: drugging with scopolamine, robbery, kidnapping, and murder. Whether you're swiping in New York, Bogotá, or São Paulo, understanding how scammers operate is your first line of defense.
How romance scams work
Romance scammers follow a predictable playbook. Knowing the steps makes them much easier to spot:
- The hook: An attractive profile matches with you and starts an engaging conversation. They're charming, attentive, and seem genuinely interested.
- The build: Over days or weeks, they create emotional intimacy. They share personal stories, express strong feelings, and make you feel special. This phase is called "grooming."
- The ask: Once emotional trust is established, the request comes. It might be money for a flight to visit you, help with a medical emergency, or an investment opportunity.
- The escalation: If you send money, the requests increase. Each one has a convincing story. The scammer maintains the emotional connection to keep you giving.
- The disappearance: When you stop sending money or start asking too many questions, they vanish. The profile is deleted, the phone number disconnected.
Physical dating scams in Latin America
In Colombia, Brazil, and other Latin American countries, dating app scams often have a physical component. Instead of asking for money online, scammers arrange to meet in person with the intent to drug and rob their victims.
Common physical scam patterns:
- Scopolamine drugging: The scammer slips a colorless, odorless drug into your drink. You become compliant and remember nothing.
- Coordinated robbery: The date is part of a team. While you're distracted or drugged, accomplices steal your belongings.
- ATM extraction: Under the influence of scopolamine, victims are taken to ATMs and forced to withdraw their maximum daily limit.
- Express kidnapping: Victims are held for hours while criminals drain their accounts and max out credit cards.
In Colombia, an estimated 50,000+ scopolamine incidents occur annually. Many originate from dating app connections. This isn't a rare risk — it's a daily reality.
Red flags that signal a scammer
Watch for these warning signs:
- Profile photos look professionally shot or too perfect — reverse image search them on Google
- Refuses to video call with repeated excuses
- Pushes to move off the dating app to WhatsApp or Telegram quickly
- Claims to be military, a doctor, an engineer working overseas, or a successful entrepreneur
- Expresses strong romantic feelings within days of matching
- Asks about your financial situation, job, or whether you live alone
- Suggests meeting at a specific private location instead of letting you choose
- Has inconsistencies in their story — details change between conversations
- Asks for money for any reason, no matter how legitimate it sounds
- Can't meet in person despite being "nearby" — always has an excuse
7 ways to protect yourself
- Use a verified dating app: An app that requires government ID verification (like Veraz) eliminates fake profiles. This is the single most effective protection.
- Reverse image search every profile: Right-click photos or use Google Lens. If the photos appear on other sites, it's a fake profile.
- Video call before meeting: A 5-minute video call proves the person matches their photos. No exceptions.
- Never send money: No matter the story, never send money to someone you met on a dating app. Not for plane tickets, medical bills, or investment opportunities.
- Meet in public, control your transport: Always meet in a public place and arrange your own transportation. Never let a date pick you up.
- Watch your drinks: Never leave a drink unattended. In regions where drugging is common, order your own drinks directly from the bar.
- Tell someone: Share your date's profile, the location, and your expected return time with a trusted friend. Use a safety check-in feature like Veraz's Date Check-In.
What to do if you've been scammed
- Stop all communication with the scammer immediately.
- Report the profile on the dating app.
- File a report with your local police and the FBI's IC3 (ic3.gov) if in the U.S.
- Contact your bank immediately if you sent money or shared financial information.
- Save all evidence: screenshots of conversations, transaction records, profile information.
- Report to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov (U.S.) or your country's consumer protection agency.
- Seek emotional support — romance scam victims often experience shame and depression. This is not your fault.
Romance scam victims are not stupid or gullible. They're people who wanted connection and encountered someone trained to exploit that desire. The shame should belong to the scammer, not the victim.
Dr. Monica Whitty, author of "The Psychology of Romance Scams"
Choose a safer platform
The best protection against dating app scams is using a platform that makes scamming difficult by design. Veraz requires government ID verification for every user, shows Trust Scores based on real behavior, and includes safety features like Date Check-In and SOS that protect you during dates.
You can't control whether scammers exist. But you can control which platforms you use and how you protect yourself. Start with a verified app, follow the precautions above, and never let the fear of scams stop you from finding genuine connection.